Keep Out

I don’t keep my blog site a secret. Though, I don’t overly publicize it as well.
But looking at the visitor and viewer stats, I figured that readers of my blog are very few… and mostly from countries other than mine.

So I was a little shocked to know that my mother has known of my blog, as per my sister. And I immediately told her to NOT read my blog (with a “please” of course).

Not that I have something to hide from her or that I’m feeling like a bratty/rebel teen asking for her privacy (because let’s face it, what’s the point of blogging about something if you don’t want others to read it, right?). But because of two reasons:

1. She will think I’m losing my mind.

I hoped that my blog would be an outlet to rant and release all stresses and unnecessary complaints of everyday reality. So I’m afraid my mother will think I’m starting to lose my sanity and will ask me to move back home or let me see a shrink or something. I just don’t want her to worry.
I once posted a very emo Facebook status and guess what? She called me up and told me not to be so negative. blah blah blah. And I told her, “Ma, relax. I’m fine. Uso lang ang emo sa social networking sites. (Being emo on social networking sites is a thing.)”. After that incident, I created a Twitter account.

2. It’s EMBARRASSING!

Okay. Not only will my mother get to know all my mind grimes, she also gets to check my writing and grammar! I know I’m not the greatest writer in the world (She’s not either. HA!) but still… I can’t forget the day she read a draft essay I wrote back in college. And I got only two words from her: “So elementary!”. Talking about crushing the confidence of your child. HAHA. But she was right. Still… I may have cared 6 or 7 years ago… Now? Eh. So what!

Unfortunately, she’s already seen and read my posts. So, ma, if you’re reading this: “Peace! I miss you and I love you. Thanks for dropping by! Kisses. ;)”

 

**This post is in response to Daily Prompt: Keep Out.

Mentor Me

Daily Prompt: Mentor Me

Have you ever had a mentor? What was the greatest lesson you learned from him or her?

In my twenty-six years of existence, I cannot think of one person that struck to be a mentor to me. Well, not one that I can say that directly and officially guided me.
This may be because I’m stubborn.
I hate being told what to do and what to think or what to believe in.
I tend to question everything and over think things.
So no one would also probably own up to being my mentor.

I do, however, have some people in mind that had taught me lessons and left impressions that have helped me in the path of life.

One person is my mom.
When I was in college, I got to be independent.
I was already living alone at the other side of the country.
During this time, I had been in situations where I had to make decisions and choices that greatly affected my life and future. And every time I would ask my mom for her guidance.
And every time she would give an opinion but at the end close it with:
“You know what’s best for you.”

At first I hated these seven words.
I wanted to scream and say:
“That’s just it! I don’t know what’s best for me!”

Being independent is exhausting.
And knowing you get to live with the consequences and possible regret is nerve-racking.
Sometimes I wished that somebody would just make the decisions for me.
So I have someone to blame if things don’t turn out the way I planned.

Years later, I realized how lucky I was for having such a mother.
I finally saw and understood how these words affected me and helped me to grow.
It made me know how to think and decide for myself, have the guts to follow through every choice and live with little or no regret at all.

My mom was right.
Whatever other people may say the right path or good choice one should take, at the end of the day, we will be the ones to get to live with those decisions. So we should be the one to know what things we could live with or without.

Now, unconsciously, I find myself using these exact words when people ask me for advice.
And come to think of it, maybe this is one of the reasons why I don’t think I have (or need) a mentor. Because my mother have taught me to guide my self.

Makes sense? I don’t know.