I’ve been failing to catch up on Daily Prompts.
I don’t know if it’s the topics… or my laziness… or both.

I’m stuck.
I’m tired.
I’m uninspired.

I’m a roller coaster of emotions lately.
Swinging from one mood to another.

Okay. This is not something new.
I am a roller coaster of emotions ALL THE TIME.
And being away from my family and closest friends is driving my sanity one block away from cuckoo-ville.

Wait a minute.
Shouldn’t I be already used to this? Being alone?
I am. I totally am.

It’s just that there’s so many changes in my life lately that my being alone right now is kinda adding to the “losing it” drama. Or maybe this is just PMS. I don’t know.

ANYWAY…

I’ve also missed last week’s Photo Challenge
I’m just not the type of person that usually takes (or remembers to take) photos in general.
But I promise to make up for that. I just have to remember to take a picture every hour for a day!

Ugh.

I can do this.
I just wish I can turn down the emo a notch.

Stuck

I ask you, what am I?
I’m one of the undeserving poor: that’s what I am.
Think of what that means to a man.
It means that he’s up agen middle class morality all the time.
If there’s anything going, and I put in for a bit of it, it’s always the same story:
“You’re undeserving; so you can’t have it.”
But my needs is as great as the most deserving widow’s that ever got money out of six different charities in one week for the death of the same husband.
I don’t need less than a deserving man: I need more.
I don’t eat less hearty than him: I need more.
I want cheerfulness and a song and a band when I feel low.
I want a bit of amusement, cause I am a thinking man.
I want cheerfulness and a song and a band when I feel low.
Well, they charge me just the same as they charge the deserving.
What is middle class morality? Just an excuse for never giving me anything.
— George Bernard Shaw, Pygmalion

This short speech from George Bernard Shaw’s Pygmalion struck a random thought from me. The term, “undeserving poor”, in particular. This got me thinking…

Undeserving poor are the “middle class” in developing countries. Being a middle class citizen in a third world or developing country today means just barely getting above ground away from poverty, but the gap towards being well-off still feels like aiming for the moon.

One is not really that rich to afford most of the comforts and luxuries of life but also not poor enough to deserve charity and help or even sympathy (at the least) to be deserving of small comforts.

And come to think of it, middle class citizens are the more law-abiding and moral of all the class structure. They pay their taxes on time and go about their own business to succeed whilst trying to maintain peace with their fellow and supporting the nation. They never complain as publicly and as often as the “deserving poor” with all their protests and sometimes over-the-top demands. But just like the deserving poor, the undeserving are also poor — with the same needs and wants as the deserving.

The middle class work too hard to be able to have barely enough of what the deserving poor needs but it would seem too much if they would start to want something more that only the rich can afford. The latter, I think, is what Shaw means by “middle class morality”. And I agree that it can be just an excuse to not give the middle class anything. It’s not their fault they are not poor enough to deserve charity and it’s not their luck to be able to give them either.

An undeserving poor is undeserving. They are. But once in a while, it is reasonable to experience the other side of life — to rest, to breath, to feast, to travel, to experience art and culture, and to enjoy the unreasonably-priced life.

Undeserving Poor

In Comes Company

It’s beginning. So this is how it feels like.
My night just felt like a scene from the musical, Company, where I am Robert aka Bobby.

It started with an invitation from couple friends to go out to dinner with them.

Bobby, come on over for dinner!
We’ll be so glad to see you!
Bobby, come on over for dinner!
Just be the three of us,
Only the three of us–
We looooooooooooooooove you!

So I go:

Phone rings, Door chimes, In comes Company!
No strings, Good times, Room hums, Company!
Late nights, Quick bites, Party games,
Deep talks, Long walks, Telephone calls.

Thoughts shared, Souls bared, Private names,
All those Photos Up on the walls–“With love.”
“With love” filling the days, “With love” seventy ways,
“To Bobby with love”

From all those good and crazy people, my friends!
Those good and crazy people, my married friends!
And that’s what it’s all about, isn’t it?

Well, okay. The couple that asked me out were not yet married, but they may be someday. Like my other couple friends that have.

This just got me thinking, my life will soon start to look like a Bridget Jones’ Diary movie if I finally reached the end scene of the musical.

ROBERT: Stop!…What do you get?
Someone to hold you too close,
Someone to hurt you too deep,
Someone to sit in your chair,
To ruin your sleep.

PAUL: That’s true, but there’s more to it than that.
SARAH: Is that all you think there is to it?
HARRY: You’ve got so many reasons for not being with someone, but
Robert, you haven’t got one good reason for being alone.
LARRY: Come on, you’re on to something, Bobby. You’re on to something.

ROBERT:
Someone to need you too much,
Someone to know you too well,
Someone to pull you up short
And put you through hell.

DAVID: You see what you look for, you know.
JOANNE: You’re not a kid anymore, Robby. I don’t think you’ll ever
be a kid again, kiddo.
PETER: Hey, buddy, don’t be afraid it won’t be perfect. The only thing
to be afraid of really is that it won’t be.
JENNY: Don’t stop now. Keep going.

ROBERT:
Someone you have to let in,
Someone whose feelings you spare,
Someone who, like it or not,
Will want you to share
A little, a lot.

SUSAN: And what does all that mean?
LARRY: Robert, how do you know so much about it when you’ve never
been there?
HARRY: It’s much better living it than looking at it, Robert.
PETER: Add ’em up, Bobby. Add ’em up.

ROBERT:
Someone to crowd you with love,
Someone to force you to care,
Someone to make you come through,
Who’ll always be there,
As frightened as you
Of being alive, Being alive,
Being alive, Being alive.

AMY: Blow out the candles, Robert, and make a wish. Want something!
Want something!

ROBERT:
Somebody, hold me too close,
Somebody, hurt me too deep,
Somebody, sit in my chair
And ruin my sleep
And make me aware
Of being alive,
Being alive.

Somebody, need me too much,
Somebody, know me too well,
Somebody, pull me up short
And put me through hell
And give me support
For being alive,
Make me alive.

Make me confused,
Mock me with praise,
Let me be used,
Vary my days.
But alone is alone, not alive.

Somebody, crowd me with love,
Somebody, force me to care,
Somebody, make me come through,
I’ll always be there,
As frightened as you,
To help us survive
Being alive,
Being alive,
Being alive!

Now, this would be a good thing since there will be a chance that a Mark Darcy will be waiting for me saying that he likes me just as I am (*kilig* sorry! Can’t help it! Colin Firth just popped up on my head! Haha). But what if, unlike Bobby, I won’t ever get to want what he realizes he wants? Scary. Even scarier, that I believe I’ve already accepted that it’s really not what I want. So what do I really want?

Anyway, for those who don’t know the musical, here are some videos from the 2011 Company (lots of familiar and unexpected faces. Find Mad Men’s Red! :P)